I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
