The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
