I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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