Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
As shirtless as possible
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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