We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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