the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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