I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
