The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
