College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
