I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
from now on my penis is your penis
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
