I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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