Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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