you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
