I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
