I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I love black thongs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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