Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
