So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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