I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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