apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize