too bad you live with your parents still
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize