i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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