Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
