She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
