Your tits are I can't wait for
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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