I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
