I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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