I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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