And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
