he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
