It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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