I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
