So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
