pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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