eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
