brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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