I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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