Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just tell him i said nine months
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
