Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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