I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
