Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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