it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
