Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
