dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize