false alarm. still invincible.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
