i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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