don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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