Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I believe in your delicious
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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