he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize