based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I need to calm my uterus...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
