Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
