When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize