then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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