Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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