Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
