okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
