so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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