We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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